End Of My Wit

by Orthodox

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about

This album is for anybody who has ever fallen victim to actions stricken from the hands of an addict.

You do not deserve it. You are not to blame.

XXX

All music was written by and performed by Orthodox.
All lyrics were written by Adam Easterling.

credits

released 09 July 2013
Orthodox would like to thank:
The Straight Edge, Bryan Sveum, Chase Wilson, Nashville Hardcore, Danny Gosciniak, Cooper Pemelton, Bobby Patterson, Daisyhead, Empathy Hardcore, Aesop Rock, and of course Root Beer.

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Track Name: Survive
Quit playing tricks on yourself.
You know all this is real:
All this guilt, all this shame, all this pain you feel.
I can't begin to relate to what you're going through;
Manipulated and jaded you have no room to think.
Cling to me. I'll do my best to never let you sink.
I know it's hard to climb back up from the bottom
But at least now you found your ground to stand.
My advice would be fill the lungs that you rive
But a deep breath's not an option when you're trying to survive.
I know exactly what you've done...
But I swear to you now
I am not all you have left.
I Am Not All That You Have Left!
So much potential. I won't let this be your final breath.
So Breathe.
Track Name: I'm Only
I'm only corresponding with codependence.
Waiting for my chance of repentance.
Taking note at your every clue,
Just trying to get right back to you.
Just trying to find my way back to you.
Could it be
These clues aren't as they seem?
And I know just what this means,
But I can't do the right thing!
So here I crawl to the foot of this bed of nails.
Just trying to get right back to you.
Just trying to find my way back to you!
Track Name: (t)Rust feat. Cooper Pemelton
Sometimes I sit and think:
Does God know how it feels to bleed?
And if he does, when I doubt him does he doubt me?
When I fail, he's the weight forcing me to my knees.
But when I overcome, does he even notice?
Do you even notice me?!
Am I really missing out if I'm only born once?
Maybe I feel it shouldn't take two tries.
If I hear, see and speak no evil
Then I'm a deafened mute with blinded eyes.
The water you walked on is causing me to rust.
So how do I bow before a God, that I can't even trust?
Track Name: End Of My Wit (I)
Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
Am I at the end of my wit?
Am I slowly becoming uninspired
Or is my mind finally starting to slip?
Are all of these the true reasons behind my persistent haze
Or just the excuse that I place behind my cynical ways?
The haze and the ways that make me lose my focus.
The haze and the ways that make me feel I’m hopeless.
Laughing at myself because I’m a joke.
Stuttered breaths: On these words I choke.
Breaking for things I could do without.
Shooting my foot while it’s still in my mouth.
But still I try to run.
My walls: they come undone.
But still I try to hide
A place where you won’t find me.
No matter how hard I try
I can’t stay clear of sight.
My steps are way too loud.
My ego shines too bright.
Then finally I’m caught.
My eyes become distraught.
I can almost see the end.
Then I break free again!
I keep running away.
Track Name: Fool
It seems I'm always on the losing end of a one sided argument
Where condescension is key and key words are bent.
I'm a bigot - I'm pretentious - In the end...
Burn me at the stake for the sarcasm I spew.
Hang me by my neck because I share a different view.
Call me putrid - Call me stubborn - In the end...
I am just your fool!
(I am just your fool)
For walking straight in a crooked wood.
(I am just your fool)
Because I don't feel how I'm told I should.
Now a difference in opinion means I am wrong.
So it must be that I am just your fool.
I am just your fool!
Track Name: Shallow Roots feat. Bobby Patterson
I've made myself out to be very clear.
There is nothing and I mean NOTHING...
Worth my time being wasted here.
I'm done with trying to find where I went wrong.
So in regards to you -
This is my final song.
I've made myself out to be very clear!
There is nothing in your hands bold enough to keep me planted here!
This Is Not For You!
I'M BREAKING FREE OF THIS!
My act of "selfishness."
I know my push is gone.
But I'll struggle on my own No More.
Track Name: The Rope
The knot in my stomach has tied itself in a noose
And my repeating thought process tells me it's time to hang loose.
So I step and I fall and I flail.
A long drop and a sudden stop.
My lungs are forced to exhale.
Here I float with this rope around my throat! (x3)
The binding breaks. I fall to my knees and think:
Do I retie the rope?! (x2)
I aim to feel the difference between life and death.
I look up to the clock to see:
Is it time I take my own final breath?
I am nothing. I am nothing.
I am nothing but dead to you.
Do I Retie The Rope?!
Track Name: There Is Nothing I Can Do
How could you? How dare you?
Why couldn’t your God spare you?
I’m outraged. I’m confused.
My heart is wrenched and misused.
Tell me who gave fate the right to decide.
Tell me what I have to do to bring the light back to your eyes.
Just tell me what to do!
I’ll hold your wrist while I stab the beast that bit it.
Press my lips to your veins; suck the poison out and spit it!
And I’ll keep trying though I hate the taste
But in the back of my mind I know you’ll allow my efforts to go to waste.
With a heart beating out of habit it's a shock that you've made it through all these years.
Stuck in a maze through the haze of your ways;
You take the wrong turns in stead of turning to face your fears.
Still no matter how much spite you swallow
You’re still starving for attention.
And tonight I’ve come to realize
That my two blind eyes simply won’t suffice.
I’ve done every thing I can.
There is nothing I can do.
Track Name: Scenery feat. Danny Gosciniak
You are nothing, you are nothing but dead to me
And now it's time I change my scenery.
I could turn my head if this time was the first
But all I'm doing is losing in these games that you coerce!
You are nothing, you are nothing but dead to me
And now it's time I change my scenery.
It's like you push me just to see if I'll react.
You took one step to far and now I'm pushing back.
I'm Pushing Back!
With all these bystanders to take your blame you hide your bruises well.
And though you've watched it burn your own blood
You drag yourself through the same hell!
Are you proud of yourself?
Well I've got to ask...
How does it feel?
How does it feel to walk with new notches in your belt?
How strong is your judgement with the new cards you've been dealt?
Do they bring about a heavy hand
Or just a conscience that you can't stand?
How many mistakes will it take before you break down and reprimand
All the lies you've told, all the hurt you've sold
All the love that you're bound to fake
On the second step too far that you're bound to take!
And now I can finally see
All of my new scenery!
You are nothing, you are nothing but dead to me!
Track Name: End Of My Wit (II)
I can't keep running away!
Even if it means I suffocate,
I'll turn and face the cloud of smoke I've made.
I have patience, and I have courage,
But both amounts are wearing thin.
I know deep down, I deserve this.
But why must fear be what molds good men?
I think I'm at my wit's end.
I know one thing for sure...
I made these ghosts that are haunting me
Breaking this sense of security!
How can I face all that I have done?
I guess I better lift these feet and run!
Though I know I can't escape.
I'll always be outsmarted
By the ghosts that I create.
Creatures I've come to hate.
I can't trust my feet.
I admit defeat.
This must be it.
I'm At The End Of My Wit!

Bury me.